Resilience is a pillar of Liberty. If I land a job that allows me the flexibility to be more involved with my family (a core value of mine), does that mean I have achieved Liberty? If I look back at the definition of liberty that I posted – liberty implies the power to choose among alternatives rather than merely being unrestrained -I would say I have not. Perhaps I have achieved freedom, (freedom implies an absence of restraint or compulsion), but do I really have the power to choose among other alternatives, or am I still at the whim of the current company I work for – merely a slave to a more comfortable grind? If I am truly resilient – able to feed and take care of my family come what may – then I truly have liberty.

Having time for the most important things in my life is my prime motivator. It is what got me started down the path to resilience in the first place. I feel as if my life is passing me by while I am toiling away in my cube doing something that doesn’t improve the planet or make a difference in people’s lives, and I’m doing it for a company that does not value or care about its workers and is not sensitive to the needs of family life. I’m a paper pusher that they will bleed dry and then cast aside without a second thought.

“The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having not time. It is, on the contrary, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else – we are the busiest people in the world.” Eric Hoffer

SUCCESS: The progressive realization of worthwhile goals – "48 Days to the Work You Love" – Dan Miller

I ran across the following journal entry I had made back in November, and it seemed very congruent with where I am mentally right now:

I am reading the book "48 Days to the Work You Love", and it talks about 7 areas of life that should be considered when evaluating "success": Financial, Physical, Personal Development, Family, Spiritual, Social, Career. Not all success is financial despite what our society crams down our throat. Many who have achieved financial success have sacrificed their health and family in its pursuit, and are not happy. In my mind they have wasted their life, or at least wasted the time in which they have focused on nothing but financial success. What good is it? It is a means to an end, a tool and nothing more.

Tonight my kids are spending the night with friends, and because it is the middle of the week instead of the weekend I got a real feel for what it is going to be like when they have all moved on. It wasn’t quite a loneliness that settled on me, perhaps more of a melancholy. Going through the normal midweek routine without the usual kid activities, knowing there would be no interruptions or conflict or bedtime hugs or anything, was very sobering. It didn’t feel right; the house is supposed to be full of life; full of love and relationships. It just drove home how precious – and temporary – this time in my life is.

It made me thing that we have the concept of retirement backwards. We should be “retired” while the kids are young, and then pursue our careers when they have grown, rather than retiring once they are gone and the demands of life are fewer; with nothing but time to putter around in an empty house. All the family bonds and relationships, and all the demands of parenthood having taken place when we had the least amount of time and energy to deal with them.

This is why I need to break free, this is why I need liberty. There is nothing more fulfilling than relationships filled with caring and love, than feeling connected and accepted and wanted and needed. If I am going to take control of my life and how I spend my time, my to do list must start getting shorter. I’m not saying I’m just going to start ignoring things, but the number of things that are recurring must start getting smaller. This means finding the time to deal with them, which means I can’t continue giving the best of myself to something that sees me as an expendable commodity to be strip mined; as a resource to be exploited.

I must make the time now so I don’t find myself at some point in the future looking back with regret that I didn’t get to enjoy a rich family life while still young enough to make the most of it. Of course I need to provide for my family, but I must evaluate what it is I am providing them with. Am I really getting (and giving) the best of what life has to offer?